Miss ME? I was gone all day. We put 200 miles on My harley. Had a blast! Ran into this GIANT group of bikers who invited us to go with them. I have never ridden in such a large group before. It was lots of fun and talked to so many interesting people. I also discovered how extremely difficult it is to operate a motorcycle while having a severe case of the hiccups! OMG I thought I was gonna die! Me and My girl look so awesome riding around on the bike. It was a beautiful ride. We saw the prettiest sunset I have ever seen around here. It was like the sky was lilac colored and someone splattered a big bucket of fushia paint all over the canvas and ran giant fingers across it horizontally. I’ve never seen the sky so extremely HOT PINK. Got back at 11 p.m. and then took a latenight dip in MY swimming pool. Quite refreshing.

We were laughing today at MY ability to distinguish the smell of farm animal shit. I’m sure it goes back to MY childhood. In gradeschool I grew up on a dairy farm. I also had to suffer through 4-H because ALL the little portuguese kids were in fucking 4-H. 4-H was part of being a portygee..if you are a portygee kid where I grew up..you ate linguisa, you have a Tia Maria and you were in 4-H. I’m sure 4-H is why I hate animals and only keep fish and men as pets. 4-H is fucking cruel and unusual and sucks 4 kinds of ass. They force little gradeschoolers to dress up in the world’s gayest uniform, pick out a cute young farm animal, name it, feed it, halter break it, teach it little tricks and pose it and then then auction it off for butcher while the children all scream and cry in horror! Anyway, I digress.so I grew up near cattle..and I have a fucking knack at being able to pick out poo in one sniff. Horse, goat, pig, cow, chicken, duck..hell I can tell if it’s dairy cattle doo or beef cattle poo. So when we ride by some smelly farm and I get a whiff of something I scream CHICKENS or PIGS or BLACK ANGUS or SHEEP!” and wouldn’t you know it.I’m always friggin right. Strange, I can usually take one whiff of you shitpiles and distinguish what kind of human excrement you are too! “sissy crossdresser! closet fag! wanker! troublemaker! secret blackmail addict!” hahahaha What kind of POO are YOU!? Whether or not you know which stinky mess you are..I can always figure it out! hahaha!

OH MY gawd! That was fucking vaseline freak who text messaged ME!! I can’t believe he is sniffing around again after I had a henchman send that video and pictures to his FRIGGIN WIFE!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!??! What a glutton, huh?