UPDATE:

Look at this stupid email.
Subject: nearlydead
“hi mistress i hope you ruin my life soon because i have 6 months left to live now and need to feel unworthy before i die and humiliated.i can smoke if you require but my g.p has told me to quit cigs and drink.i wish to leave my last will and testament out into your name.beauty comes first and you are far more beautifull than my old wife.”

Yawn..whatever. If you are going to die, (sha’right, heard that one before) what do you have to lose? Nothing. Go make a donation and don’t bother Me until you have sent at least $500. http://bitchybeauty.com/donations.html THEN we can discuss how you will spend the last days of your pathetic life.

GRRRR! What a shitty 2 days. Last night, the starter on my brand new fucking Harley went out! Totally! Had to be towed. Sucked SO much! It’s in the shop right now. It’s all covered by MY warranty but still fucking annoys the HELL out of ME. It’s a goddamned $18,000 bike and the starter goes out? So we get stuck on the side of the road on our way to dinner. We’re all starving to death. I call 1800-ClubHog for roadside assistance and get this nasty ass looking tow-truck driver who took forever because they called a place all the way on the other side of town. he got out of the truck looking like he had died and gone to heaven. I wanted to kick him in the balls the second I saw him. he says “thats a lot of bike for a little lady”. I’m like “I’m a good 6 inches taller than you, little guy”. he shut his fucking yap and loaded MY bike up. I was not a happy camper. Me and my friend were like being total bitches fighting with each other, “Ewwww..I’m not sitting next to the tow truck driver. YOU sit next to him.” Needless to say, I wasn’t the one sitting next to the greasemonkey. Ugh. What a fucking grisly experience. Im sure this will take days for ME to recover from that ordeal.

Then I get home to discover that MY evil angel fish has taken to swallowing up My neons. That fat little bastard ate 10 of them!!!! I look at the tank and I’m like where the fuck are all the neons, just in time to see that angel fish swallow one up! I couldn’t believe that he got it down. So anyway, the angel fish started acting all funny probably from gorging himself on his tankmates and when I woke up this afternoon he was totally dead. Fuck him! I’m going to the petstore later and replacing his ass with something else. No more angel fish. That one grew so fast and was mean as the dickins.

Then I have fucking assholes like deryck trying to play tiddlywinks and waste MY time. KILL YERSELF ALREADY, deryck!! Whiney ass toiletbrush trying to get attention when he has YET to pay his $1000 penalty. he pays off $200 and thinks I am going to give him attention? I DON’T THINK SO. PAY your penalties or SUFFER your punishment, toiletbrush!

Oh and doombrit, GO FUCK yerself, asswipe! I made you the FREAK you are today. I made you. I will be the one to break you. you’ll never get better, you crazy ass freak of nature!

I feel all hostile today, like busting balls and fucking up lifes! Don’t piss ME off today. I’m going to go work out and burn off some of this energy.