Category Archives: sir wankalot

Live, Love, Laugh at men

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fallinorangeblog
Back from yet another weekend camping and fishing.  Back to the old grind of lounging around, messing with MY slaves’ brains from the comfort of MY home and collecting their cash! 🙂

Starting another diet today.  All this camping and road tripping leads to more beer and junk food than I’m use to eating.  I’m noticing I’m getting fuller in the face so I’m going to try to lower carbs and calories for a month or so to take a few lbs back off.  This always brings out grouchy Goddess.  Prepare to have you wallets whipped more ferociously, your dicks locked up longer and to be cussed out a lot more than usual.   Did you just get wood?  What a sick little man you are! HAHAHAHAAHA!

thenewphoneblog
Well, finally updated MY Iphone.  I had been sticking to an older version because of how small it was and easily tucked away in a pocket.  The new Iphone 6s is friggin HUGE  but it does take better photos and has more storage. Here I am wearing a new vest that wimpdick got which I totally LOVE and will probably wear to death.  I think I need in more colors!  terrance compensated ME $350 for the Iphone upgrade and guy from Alaska sent $350 to upgrade My GF’s phone too.  The Alaska guy also spent around $300 at Eddie Bauer on Me.

Going to try to recap on some of the donations I got since My last update.  I mostly just scan MY  Tweets for payments I announced.  I don’t announce everything and forget a lot.  Deal with it.  So here’s some highlights.

$1000 from a guy named “guy”.  It just came in while I was camping.  No email or explanation!  Yay!  More!! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE when I make a shit ton of cash while I am on vacation or weekend trip!  It just makes seizing all your cash feel even more KICK ASS!

$500 from mystery pig!  I tweeted a demand for “mystery pig cash” as We were driving to the campgrounds.  I had it by Smores time.  We are all drinking beer around the campfire.  I check MY email and scream “$500 from mystery pig!” and sang MY mystery pig theme song.  Nine Women raise their beer cans in the air and toast mystery pig’s wallet!  I wonder if part of him felt it?   Oh and he did this one other time since I last updated My blog.  $500 on demand!  he’s been doing about $1000 a month pretty damned regularly!    mystery pig, you are moving up there on MY ranks of favorite pigs!  I don’t know who you are.  I don’t know what you do but I LOVE how you send that cash as soon as TWITTER demand it!  And I guess…that’s really the only thing about you that REALLY matters, isn’t it??!?!  The rest is just fluff.

$100 from baby schwein plus a pair of Salomon sneakers.  $500 from the Canadian, $500 from tommikins, $500 from speedy dick, $100 Cash + $100 State Park gift certificates, $250 BackCountry gift card from lesbian power shopper,  $200 from wankalot, $500 from twinkie, $300 from the wank bank plus the Nike sunglasses in the top photo.  wank bank:  I think you owe Me another fat payment just because you are such a crusty bunghole.  SEND IT!

lesbian power shopper has sent $200 Every. Single. Day.  This makes Me giddy!  he also continue to picks up surprise gifts on a regular basis!

Oh wimpdick has been sending prezzies here and there and I finally sent him the key to his chastity device. Now he is stressed out that his penis might be damaged.  he video of him moving it and it did make this loud fart noise.  lolol  I have no idea what that is about but he actually made an appointment to see his doctor to look at his peen.  Let’s hope it’s not fucked up so We can lock that little maggot away in it’s cage AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

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Live your life for PRINCESS!

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fallredrainblog
Just got back from a rainy camping trip. Loving My new red The North Face rain jacket and orange Patagonia Nano jacket!  Weather was pretty nuts.  We had to wear long johns, beanies and multiple layers. It rained non-stop. The highlight of Our trip is when we jerry-rigged a party tent with 3 tarps and started Our campfire right outside it and kept much warmer.  We brought the RV so I slept inside instead of tenting it.   Of course, on the day We packed up Our campsite the sun came out and it was totally warm and sunny…couldn’t even wear a long sleeve tee.  Craaaa-zy.  Going to try again in a few weeks. Let’s hope the weather doesn’t suck quite as bad.

Buy More Gift Cards for Camping in State Parks! (At least 200 at a time)

While We were gone lesbian’s power shopper dutifully sent $200 every single day!  he also bought Me a $200 parka and I suspect he is the one who bought the $200 Patagonia jacket for HRC! $100 from the wank bank and I woke up to find $300 sitting in MY email from sir wankalot.  sir wankalot, $300 is nice..but I expect more!

Had to hold all My mail over the weekend so I should be getting a shit ton of prezzies today, including MY Pelican cooler!  I would have gotten a 45qt but was afraid it would be too heavy…so WE got the 35.  the wank bank bought it!  I’ll be picking out some pretties on Etsy today for the wank bank to get ME!

slavey davey just bought Me another Nano jacket in blue!  Yay!

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wankalot reemerges ! $20 thousand Reaped!

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Good news!! wankalot unblocked MY messenger and poked his head out of his hole like the world’s most psychotic ground hog! I made a new vow to MYself to NEVER show one ounce of mercy to wankalot. he’s dishonest. he will promise to do something and then refuse when he’s not in zone. he only wants to please when he’s in a state of cock shock. So when he appears I make sure I FUCK EVERY DIME OUT OF HIS WALLET! Now there’s nothing but dust in it! $20,000 over the course of a few hours.  he started mumbling about how much it was..and then he probably quietly spewed…he hung up without saying good bye!!  Then he immediately blocked MY messenger again. FUCKING PATHETIC!!  This is why wankalot can’t have nice things!! HHAHAHA because he is a rude ass sack of shit who pays and sprays..then dashes!  THIS MAKES ME WANT TO GUT him and his wallet every time I hear from him!!!   Oh and I did a search on one of MY merchant accounts and found that he did 250 transactions since 2006. This doesn’t include MY other merchant account that I am sure I did more transactions on…(but recently I switched it so I can’t search very far on that one). I’m sure there are double as many transactions on that old one! you would think after that many transactions this idiot would get it through his thick British brain that he CAN’T EVER RESIST, RETIRE OR RECOVER from being MY pay pig!!  My wallets don’t retire..they only die.

note to wankalot..I never got the $3,000 of Amazon gift cards that were sent.  $20,000 was RAD but I would still like MY gift cards.  Send them!

I’m bragging all over twitter about it because I am in the spazzy happy phase that follows EPIC WALLET RAPES! Skipping around in pink shoes and feeling so happy!! YAY ME! FUCK you!!

$300 from doomed brit.  you fat fat, I told you to send another $200.  Where is it??  Send it, doomed brit!!   $300 from from mrobot, $300 from hairlip! I got hairlip all twitterpated and zoned out staring at MY photos and vines! I just made him promise to send ME a big fan of $100 bills. hairlip always keeps his promises! Weeeeeee!  Oh and looky.  A tiny $50 donation from donald.  awwww. how cute, donald.  (Not really)  Go send another donation!

mystery pig?? Didn’t you see MY Vine I made for you??  you better go look at it.  Watch it loop a bunch of times.  I’ll be waiting for that payment! 🙂

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sir wankalot unhinged and binged!

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Just got $1,000 from sir wankalot — the bipolar asperger’s-brain, freak of fucking nature!  As usual, he fucking ran off and blocked ME..like he’s suddenly gonna be hit by a magical wand that will make him not want to pay ME every time he gets wood.  HAHAHHAHA How has that been working out for you!?!?!   he has done this for so many years!!  (I have called him different nicknames through the years.)  he can’t quit and will never be able to quit!!  Oh, I hope he cries his eyes out after every donation!!   May he ache with guilt and shame as he looks at his pathetic, spilled penis and drained bank account!!   BINGERS DESERVE TO BE MISERABLE!! They deserve to hurt!  They deserve to suffer and wallow in self loathing!   How dare you not want to please ME every hour of every day!    Yeh, wankalot, I’ll be contacting you on the 25th! Poof all you want.  I will still collect!

UPDATING MY WISHLIST!
ATHLETA
Slouch Capri size Tall L hairlip
Metro Slouch pants size Tall L in black  hairlip
Jogger for HRC size Small Regular in the black heather hairlip
Sugar V Tee for HRC Size S Navy hairlip
Chi Top size L in Dress blue hairlip
Polo shirt for HRC size S in black heather hairlip

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Can’t Keep Track of All The Cash and Prizes!!

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Update : I got zippy to send a $500 Amazon gift card too!  he also bought Me this Helly Hansen jacket.

Update:  Just got a surprise $500 from an old lame flame!  I can’t remember the nickname I used to call him.  I’m gonna email him and ask. lol!  — (it was slave zippy!)

Wow! Been some time since I updated MY blog!!  I can’t really remember everything I looted since My last entry but I’ll share some of the latest.
blueglassesblog
Blue Tory Burch Eyeglasses which I TOTALLY Love.  twinkie bought them along with the prescription lense as well. So I could start wearing the the minute they arrived. Yay!  Totally make MY eyes twinkle blue, twinkie.  lol

$350 from loopy for legs who was snorting coke again.  What a Fucking FREAK!  $300 from mystery pig.  he still has never contacted Me, but the cash keeps coming!

Last night $350 Amazon GC from Auntie pigsnot!   I used that gift card to buy My niece some boots and a purple Under Armour jacket. he also bought Me these Frye boots which were totally on sale! I love the lug heel!  Auntie didn’t stop there!  The pantied Auntie also got 2 bottles of perfume Dior J’Adore L’Absolu and Sisley Soir de Lune which came to about $240.  It also bought $200 worth of Sephora gift cards!  Woohoo!!! Oh yeh and also ordered these Prada eyeglass frames sometime last week.

I’ve been on a big perfume rampage!  We decided We totally wanted to update Our perfume collection.  We wanted more sophisticated, grown up, high end perfumes.  I tossed all MY cheaper celebrity fragrances and the girly fruity, lighter stuff I wore when I was younger.  I’m ready for grown up perfumes now.   hairlip bought MY GF a $132 bottle of Chanel No 5 Eau Premier which She will wear for work.  She is totally giddy over it!   he also got Me a $120 of Thierry Mugler Alien Perfume.  LOVE it!

I’ve had slavey davey’s prezzy dispenser’s pedal to the metal for weeks!! he just can’t stop himself!  So many awesome gifts!  Jimmy Choo’s perfume, $200 restaurant gift cards, a $120 big bottle of Dior Pure Poison, $200 Etsy GC, $60 Netflix GC, he also got ME this $164 turquoise necklace that I totally love wearing.  he sent around $700 CASH this month including the Valentine’s cash I mention further down this blog.

pantystain bought Me one of My favorite Versace perfumes.  The Eau de Parfum is being discontinued I think, so I made him buy Me a big bottle.  he also got ME a bottle of Coach Perfume.  kenneth got ME this Prada Perfume gift set and this beautiful Bvlgari Rose perfume.

We were SO spoiled for Valentine’s week.  slavey davey sent $300 to help Us enjoy it and hairlip sent $400 and $200 for HRC’s Valentine’s dinner.  I got a slew of Valentine’s donations this year.  Good boys!!  mrobot sent $200, $500 from twinkie, $200 from terrance, $200 from deerslayer, $300 from pedrobot, $100 from screwy stewy, 300 from toejamjam.  Shit!  I really can’t remember all the shit I have gotten since VDay!!   I totally lose track when this much time goes by.   I have been very pleased with My stable of piggies’ performance in February.

hairlip has now paid Our Verizon phone bill three months in a row and has also dutifully been sending $10 three times a day on top of everything else!  🙂

Oh and a brand new guy from Ohio named david sent $200 cash in the mail and I expect to receive cash from him every pay day!

wankalot blocked Me again.  I guess he wants ME to fuck him extra hard next time he shows Me his pathetic bi-polar ass.  Oh and I will.  Last time he promised again to turn over a new leaf.  Well that lasted a week.  Fuck that! I will NEVER show restraint fucking his wallet again!  I will always GO for the jugular!  I will GET IT all and as FAST AS I CAN!  I will BLEED him dry and leave him rotting on the side of the road!

Oh and remember lezzy’s toy????  he’s that guy who out of the blue started sending ME envelopes full of delicious hundred dollar bills?!!  I think he sent around $25,000 or something in just a short time.  It was GLORIOUS!  Well, he poofed too!  lezzystoys!  Get those envelopes coming again.  you are TOTALLY slacking in your responsibilities to the LESBIAN NATION!!

ATHLETA
Capris for HRC size S in Navy
Metro Slouch size Tall L in Black

HRC wants a vanilla based perfume.  Get Alien Essence Absolu for Her

EDDIE BAUER
For HRC Pants size Regular Short size 4 in Chrome  hairlip
 Fleece Jacket size TALL L in Kiwi hairlip

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pigsnot brings in the New Year with a BANG!

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hatoffthehookBLOG
I’m wearing My newest Helly Hansen coat from wankalot, scarf from hairlip and the Canada Goose hat Princess fan bought ME last winter.

pigsnot started the year with a wallet bang!!  $790 worth of Amazon Gift Cards and $100 Itunes gift cards!   Oh pigsnot!  How about a little more FUN tonight!?  WE LOVE IT!

Like I mentioned in a quick update on My last entry, mrobot coughed up $800 dollars after getting completely mindfucked by Me on the phone!

$100 from pantystain   🙂  Oh and lezzys’ toy contacted Me and I can expect more cash in the mail this week!  I think around $1,500.  Can’t wait!

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Findom Fundom!

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Update: mrobot sent another $400–for a total of $800 the last 2 days. 🙂

ladystoy!  I’ve been trying to get a hold of you via email!  No reply.  you really need to consider getting text on your phone so I can send you orders in an instant and you can communicate with ME more regularly.   I think another $ penalty is in order for not getting to the library enough this week to read and reply to MY emails!

Look what came!  Another $1,000 cash from ladystoy and $400 SouthWest giftcards from pigsnot!  ladys toy has been sending his envelopes of cash!  It’s so fun going to the mailbox and finding so many little cash envelopes in there and opening them up!  Most are all new $100 bills!  Nothing like a clean new crispy!!  I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting cash in the mail!
lezytoy1
$400 from mrobot! he’s been put on a strict Oatmeal-Only diet until he can cough up another $400 cash.  I should have made him mix it with his piss instead of water, but I guess I was in a good mood. LOL!

The mystery pig from Oregon sent another $300 yesterday!  Continue to please Me from the shadows, little minion!  🙂

$200 Hudson jeans from a secret admirer,  slavey davey did about $200 worth of shopping and still has another $200 left for Me to use! Let’s see, he picked up some goodies from Etsy plus even more Eddie Bauer items!   pigsnot sent numerous Amazon gift cards this weekend for items for ME and My sisters.  I need to tally it up but maybe around $450 worth? I will check in with pigsnot for the total. 🙂  he sends so many it sometimes becomes a blur!  pigsnot also sent $150 worth of Sephora cards for Us.

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