i’ve been begging and begging Princess to spare me from the laser on my face before it’s too late. But she wants it already done and overwith so i can’t even ask again. The first appointment has already been set though and i can’t get in any sooner than June 3rd. i’m sure i could be suckered so easily if She took me there Herself. But i feel so guilty since, like DDR pointed out, i will be the one actually driving myself there to do it. i am soooooo conflicted!!!!! i know how many terrible things Princess could do to me if i pissed Her off. But She can’t really force me to do it. And She isnt even enticing me with promises of any irresistable rewards. i will still be all alone at the end of the day–only with even less chance of ever getting back to an even half-way normal life.

And speaking of normal, i’m still paying the penalty for once trying to find real women to date on www.date.com, which is where i first used this name “David1962Dayton” and actually did date a couple women i met on there. But now i have humiliating pics and an embarrassing profile on there which does get responses of laughter and ridicule from time to time. They rejected pics in full drag, but i have 3 with just makeup and no wig and one with my mustache and bikini lines over my shoulders and a glossy substance on my face (which i’m sure they would have rejected if they knew what it was).

I’ve been planning on trying to find a new job and change careers in another year or two, but now I am worried that no one would hire me.  Princess keeps telling me I can’t be fired for being faggy looking.  She has forbidden me from buying any new male clothes at all”previously She at least let me get male dress shirts and jackets for when I have to dress professionally.  Even DDR admitted that anyone who interviewed me for a new job now would immediately notice my feminized eyebrows.  So it will be even worse now that Princess said I pissed Her off by trying to get Her attention and bugging Her too much while She was busy shopping, and now She says I have to get my eyebrows tattooed like permanent makeup!  Maybe even eyeliner and lips too!  With that on top of getting my face permanently lasered and a hairless body and long fingernails, I’ll never be able to turn back. 

Spring time is here and i am finally getting started on my weight-loss program.  DDR is having me email my weight at the beginning of each week (as well as periodic pics to show the progress of my fingernails now that she has me buffing them and oiling them regulary) with any subsequent punishments to be determined by Princess Sierra.  Up to now, even though I would never dream of running around shirtless ever again, I could at least feel comfortable in loose t-shirts on top of super-tight under armour to hold in my bouncy boobs and often erect nipples.  I’ve tried to distract from my feminine eyebrows (and perhaps look smarter) by always wearing glasses, and always having a little 5 o’clock shadow on my face.  By being a larger sized guy with buzzed thinning hair and all the above, I’ve felt at least partially comfortable that I could still keep my sissification somewhat secret in my regular public life.

But today, Princess made me call for an appointment to finally start getting the laser hair-removal done on my faced as well!  It has always been my dream that someday I could be like a wise old-man with a gray beard, and who knows”-maybe even find another woman to spend my final days with?  But there will be no female flavor to savor for the rest of my life . . . bye bye mustache forEVER!!!  And even though I’ve been keeping my arms epilated all winter when I could wear long sleeves, I had been hoping to stop before short-sleeve season begins, but Princess said, “NO!”  I have to epilate legs, arms, and underarms year-round!  It keeps the hair away for a few weeks at a time, but eventually there will be some stubble for a few days before it gets long enough to re-epilate and now I won’t be able to hide it!  Add to that the fact that I can no longer wear male pants and that Princess said my next pair of glasses have to be with female frames, I don’t know how I am going to be able to have an ounce of confidence left to look anyone in the eye and carry on a conversation at all like I have always done.

i went tonight to get a frenum piercing for a new chastity device that is on order. The girl who was going to do it was built like one of those Hindu goddesses–she was very tall with small waist in proportion to her oversized hips and breasts. So i was really nervous about her poking a hole in my shrivelled up penis. A girl like her would have thought i was gay for sure. But they didn’t have the right hardware at that store for an 8 guage piercing, which is what was reccommended by Ms. Lori who sold me this device: http://www.chastitytube.com/CV1506.jpg It has not arrived yet, but i will need some time for my new piercing to heal up before i can wear it fulltime. Anyway, i’ll be going back tomorrow around noon because they had the right hardware at another nearby shop, and then it will either be the same girl or another guy who wasn’t there tonight who will be doing the piercing. i don’t think it will be too painful, but i’m sure it will be uncomfortable for a while. i’ve seen piercings done before so i know it wont take long, but this will be my very first one anywhere. So i’ll post a follow up tomorrow.

Also, DDR sent me out to a local Sally’s Beauty Supply store to get some items to buff and strengthen my fingernails so they will look more feminine and grow without breaking so easily. So i’ll be treating them on a regular basis from now on.

 UPDATE: i finally got the right combination of cords and software.

 i thought i was going to have a quicker way to load videos, but Digital Video (“DV”–it’s false advertising!) tapes still only connect via RCA jacks (the other cord only works for the truly DIGITAL pictures–not video) so i can’t load video from my laptop and something is wrong with my old Windows 98 that has the video card to convert analogue videos. i made the video, but Princess Sierra told me to take it down because it is too dumb without sound.

i know it is long overdue, but i expect to be able to do my next updates this Wednesday. A new Boy Britney video will be posted on my youtube. And as a bonus for my being so late, i was thinking a bout turning on my yahoo webcam (david1962dayton) and doing a little Psycho-Boy-Britney too. But, instead of taking clippers to my female hair (which i confess will have to be all wigs for the rest of my life), i’ll take a pair of scissors to some of my male clothes. And unlike her hair that grew back quickly, these male items will not be replaced except by more female clothes.

i know that as soon as this is posted and even more so after this is done, i will be soooo regretful! But here goes!

 To avoid any misunderstandings, i adore all real women–especially enlightened ones. So my New Year’s resolution is to experience the perverted version of femininity that men have used to oppress women over decades and centuries. Of course this doesn’t mean that everything feminine is based on oppression–much of it is preference because it is sooooo damned hott!!!

The two main areas i resolve to experience this year are the obsession with weightloss (beyond the positive goal for good health) and what i’ll call ‘sexual altruism’–meaning my own sexual pleasure will be put aside, perhaps for the pleasure of others. It is a crime that so many women are actually expected to enjoy all sex without any clitoral stimulation. So i will try to spend as much time as possible, if not the entire year, in some form of chastity. i’m considering the kind that requires a frenum piercing to keep it in place. And since i am at my heaviest weigh of my life, the other main half of my resolution will be to lose at least 80 lbs. within the course of the year.

Since i have no real-life friends to keep me motivated, i will ask some real Women to be my online ‘girlfriends’ to keep me from straying or backing out. Princess Sierra already has more than enough info on me (including work, school, family, accounts, etc.) to force me to comply with anything She decides. But to ensure that when She is too busy i will still be totally obedient to Her real-life girlfriends too, i will send contact info for all of my immediate neighbors to Stevie and DDR (VTG already has it). So any time i am afraid that what they tell me to do might be too embarrassing in front of my neighbors, i only have to imagine how much worse it could be if they sent information directly to my neighbors or even called them about me. And of course Princes Sierra could give them more ammo to use against me any time She felt like it.

So before i reconsider what i am getting myself into, i will post a list of specific goals and rules to go along with the two main objectives listed above (all subject to being modified or supplemented by Princess Sierra, VTG, DDR, or Stevie):

Diet will be extremely restricted to achieve the most extreme results.

Hormone levels (estrogen & progesterone) will be increased.

All non-feminine body hair will be either permanently lasered or temporarily epilated or waxed.

Face will be kept clean shaven, if not permanently lasered by the end of the year.

Any masturbation will involve nothing more than my own boobs or booty.

Fingernails will never be cut–only filed when they break, snag, chip, or get to be over 1/4 inch beyond fingertips.

Eyebrows will be continually plucked into a feminine arch.

No new clothing purchases will include anything made for men. By the end of the year, my entire wardrobe will consist of items made for women, although for times when i must dress in a professional manner, i will be allowed to buy female items that at least look more masculine or androgynous.

i will keep a yahoo calendar up to date which can be accessed or modified by my online ‘girlfriends.’
http://calendar.yahoo.com/david1962dayton

Extra keys will be sent to Princess Sierra so that She and/or Her real-life girlfriends may inspect my house and belongings unannounced to ensure that i have not kept any unauthorized clothes or anything else they deem to be contraband.