I was out last night but guess who was here waiting for ME when I got home? OMG I managed to get another $400 outta beerboy joe. he is SUCH a sick puppy and JUST can’t get enough abuse! he also was forced to molest bratwurst dunked in hotsauce and hot peppers and beat his pint-sized balls.

gertie came out of hiding and gave Mariah $100 for Her trip to Vegas. (cheap cheap)

smelly balls did some beauty product shopping for ME. he probably spent around a total of $200 on moisturizers, creams, cleansers and stuff like that.

divorcee..come out, come out, come out where ever you are! Me thinketh you need to drinketh again tonite!

toiletbrush I am STILL waiting for a GIANT box of T-bones. MUST EAT REDMEAT! Everytime I get on MY period I fucking want to scarf down enormous amounts of juicy, rare slabs of USDA PRIME ANGUS BEEF. I wish I could drive out to a friggin farm and pick an entire LIVE cow out, point at it, and say “DINNER! KILL! KILL! Shoot THAT ONE for ME.” I don’t want one that has been in the freezer for a long time. I want one that was mooing YESTERDAY. I feel like such a fucking carnivore right now–like a flesh eating vampire who just wants to devour things that bleed, bite the heads off little rats like you guys, suck the life out of the living, turn MY nose up at vegetables and reek havoc!

I have really heavy, long lasting periods and I think I am more affected by them then lots of Women. I definitely feel more emotional on MY period. I fucking get bloated, gluttonous and ultra aggressive, sluggish and lazy yet hyper and highstrung.but I also get this unexplainable tribal cave WOMAN feeling to Me that is hard to explain. It’s like the urge to hunt, stalk MY prey, not wash MY hair, run around with My bloated tummy showing and throw rocks at anything that passes. Ugha Bugha.