Oh Mah Gawd. I’m back and I’m BURNT!

My roasted face. My forehead is so peeling now. 🙁

For those who know, I had first planned to go to aruba and then last minute flight messup/schedule problem but we wound up going to another Caribbean island instead. I’m kinda secretive about shit because I plan on going back and am always half expecting some stalker to show up or something.I share with some of you.but the rest of you people don’t need to know every single minute detail of MY life..anyway, OMG I am soo glad we went here instead!!! This luxury resort was soooo PERFECT!!! It was soo lush and beautiful and the weather was gorgeous! Well, except one day it was cloudy. I’m fried but I had so much fun. This place was like a tropical DisneyLand! Accept there was hardly anyone there. Here’s one of My favorite pics I took there. It’s a small secluded resort with tons of staff that ran and served you like royalty. Whiteglove service in the restaurants, rose petals in the bed every night(lol), flute playing at breakfast. There were 2 beaches. One was a tad bit longer walk but totally secluded, We’d be sharing the entire beach with like 8 people–sometimes only 3 or 4! It was soo friggin’ awesome! No noise, NO outsiders. We drank and drank and drank and pigged out. Those beach chairs were totally fluffy comfortable and everyone had a private little beach bamboo umbrella shelter thingie. No walking for drinks or waiting in line for a second even. The food was OUTSTANDING.well, except for the quail I tried one night. I gained back the weight I lost after My Christmas binge, about 4 lbs 🙁 so I’m low carbing for a few weeks. I shocked the hell out of My system pouring all those sugary drinks and rich desserts and pastas into MY body. The room was fabulous! This one wasn’t beach-front like the original resort I had decided on, it was oceanview suite with a balcony.and OMG what a friggin view! The balcony sort of wrapped around so on one side you got a view of all this lush greenery and then directly in front of the room you got a perfect view of ocean and it was bright blue. The suite was lovely with two large bathrooms, giant 4-poster bed, spacious sitting area, and a jacuzzi. This was also a spa, so we did the hot rock massages outside on this cliff thing overlooking the sea. I’ve never been into the massage thing, but this was cool. We also got manicures, pedicures and facials. I skipped the aromatherapy and the mud wrap things. We didn’t do as much water activities as we had planned. We just vegged and explored a lot. I took lots of pictures of the scenery. This really was the best vacation I ever had. Flew first class, great accomodations, dynamite food and not a care in the world. 🙂 The only bad part is we did NOT stay long enough. I really wish we had done 10-14 days instead. It was THE most fairytale resort I have ever seen and the food was first class..I can’t wait to go back. I had such a good time…THEN I come back to see you fuckers misbehaving. deryck is being a gameplaying dick again, billystinc and the barnyardtoilet are having a freakfeud, mark francis is smelling up the place and I got LESS than a $1,000 in donations while I was gone!!! you CHEAP LITTLE FUCKTARDS!! First thing, barnyard, you go make a donation–NOW! mark francis, you are a rude, sexist pig and I am removing you from the piglist, billy incUstink, you ARE A CHEAP FUCK–deal with it. EVERYONE hates you because you DO NOT do your part. Go make another donation and I don’t care if you have to sell plasma or rattle a tin can on the side of the street to get it. BAD men! BAD BAD men! I swear men are like fucking mutts, that if you leave them unattended for just a few days, they forget everything you teach them and are back to their bad habits of sniffing at crotches, yapping, and pissing on every corner. Every single one of you, need to be muzzled and beaten with a BIG STICK!
UPDATE:
oh celibate george, I got your gascard in the mail.and the keys got here safely too.

I’m going to have to pick out some new luggage and you guys will have to pay for it. My wonderful GIANT suitcase’s friggin wheel was broken or something by some shithead airport worker who seemingly drug it around or something because the base looks all ground down and abused. That was a real pisser. Thank Goddess it happened somewhere on My way home because I swear that bag weighed like 75 lbs or some shit. Anyway, I really liked MY luggage set, maybe I can find one single giant high quality suitcase that sorta matches it so I don’t have to toss out the rest of MY set. It was SOOOo fucking cold when we got home! POUT POUT POUT I’m so pissy that I’m home again. Hey divorcee, did you tell everyone that your male prostitute said you could get freebies anytime you want now?? heehee