There’s this really gross guy named brian who calls ME every now and then and I refuse to talk to him unless he pays AT LEAST $300 first–just because something about him really pukes ME out. Anyway, he lost $400 today and while he was horny asked ME to write this chick he used to work with and beg Her to allow him to pay Her to kick him in the balls. he gives ME the address and I start telling him what the letter might say and I guess he’s fucking yankin’ the weasel cuz all the sudden his voice changes and he says not to mail Sarah cuz he gave ME the wrong address. HAHA YEAH RIGHT! I am SOOOO writing Her a juicy letter and I think I will toss in one of those DISGUSTING polaroid pictures you sent ME of you sitting nekkid as a jaybird, legs spread, holding that sign that says “KICK MY BALLS, PRINCESS!” you’re SOOO GROSS, brian. you SOOOO deserve this. I’m going to write up a DOOZIE of a letter. HA!

UPDATE: on brian
Now he’s calling back and saying he’s been in the mental hospital and he has “diminished capacity”. he was fucking crying and talking all like he’s retarded–like feigning retardation is going to make ME feel pity on him or something. We agreed if he paid another $100–bringing his total to $500, I would hold out on sending the letter until his next bout of spermal stupidity. FRIGGIN cock-crazies!

Got a new sissyfreak who loves the name “Priscilla” so I call him Priscilla Queen of Denial. he gave up $50 donation on top of his phonecall. Speaking of erring little sissyboys, sissychristina you earned a $200 penalty PLUS another $25 for not calling back at the specified time! I sent you the bill for the first $200. Pick it up, PRONTO, you pantied slut!

Tonite pornpie freak’s assignment is to be a punkrock girl. We’ll see how tonite’s git-up turns out. Yippy! That means another $300 for Me! Did 30minutes cardio bike when I woke up. Plan on doing a 60minute Firm Workout around 4:00 or 5:00 p.m. and another 30minutes on bike tonite around 11 or midnight and probably work MY abs too.